The Importance Of Remembering Names

At first I was a bit busy with some paper work but once I finished, I approached her and said “Hey Trish! how are you? it’s been a while and I hope things are working out better…” I truly meant it, she seemed very upset the 1st time she ended up at my desk and you could still see that she was not in her best shape. I just didn’t expect that remembering her name could have such an impact, her face just blew me away.

Back when I was living in the USA, one day when I was still working at the bank, Trish ended up at my desk. You see, the thing is that she had come to me in a very crappy situation. She was in the middle of her divorce and fighting for her child’s custody. She had come into the bank to reorganise her finances on what it looked like one of the hardest days of her life. I took care of her in the most professional manner posible given the sensible situation and after 30 mins, we managed to get everything in order and she left. I didn’t see her again until she came back to the bank to make a deposit 4 weeks later.

Everyday Leadership

The moment I greeted her, her face changed in an instant. Her face told me that I had just made her day. With a half smile, you could see that somewhere inside, just for a moment, happiness had found its way back into the world. She just asked me, “Hey, you remembered my name! Things are much better, thanks for helping me out, I was having a really rough day last time.” That is when it hit me. I just made a difference on somebody’s day by simply remembering a single word, their name!

At the bank, we really strived to provide great customer satisfaction so from the beginning I was told that it was important that I learn customer’s names. I was not told how or why, but I was told I needed to. I’ve always been a person who loves to connect with people so it has been relatively easy for me to do so. But, it was this job what made a difference in my skill, here are a couple of things I learned about it.

It’s more important than a word

Our name is the most important word in our vocabulary, we hate it when it is misspelled, mispronounce or even worst forgotten! It’s so important to us, that most of the time we just share it without even been asked. We are so eager to tell others our name that as we prepare for introduction, we are just waiting for the other person to stop talking so we can proudly say how we are called. We even go as far as repeating it a couple of times or creating short references to it, hoping that it will be imprinted in the other’s person head. We need to understand that if we do this, for sure the other person does it as well. That means that technically, nobody is listening to anybody when they say their names…

Here is the Name Learning Method I have developed. It works for me 95% of the times.

• You need to WANT to learn the person’s name. Care for it! it’s important for them and you should give them the attention they deserve.
• Never say your name until you are asked for it. (It also allows you to see if the other person is interested in having a conversation or relationship with you). Learn how to control the urge. Let others talk, after a while they will want to know who is the great listener they have been talking with.
• Clearly listen to their name. If you don’t understand it or can’t say it properly, don’t move on until you have managed it. If they have a name badge, try to see how it is spelled. That way you don’t only hear it but, also see it.
• Look them in the face, shake their hand and repeat their name! But not randomly just say the “Peter,” that is weird… simply say “Nice to meet you Peter”.
• Try use the person’s name each time you address him or her.

The 5% error is because some names can be very culture and I am simply not used to them. Or my mind was somewhere else, and I really didn’t listen :/

It’s ok to ask somebody for their name but only one more time, we all know that we don’t remember names all the time. The problem is when you ask for a 3rd time or even more, they will get upset with you because you are NOT listening to them. It shows that you ask but you don’t really care. In that case, ask around for the person’s name. You better know the name of whom you are asking, they will expect it.

Once the person realises that you have made an effort to learn their name, they will feel in debt to you if they don’t remember or know yours. This will for sure bring some benefits with it Just DON’T forget, to be good with names, you need to WANT to learn other’s names. Wait until you see the impact that you can have on somebody’s life and you will always strive to listen to their names.

PS: When flirting, is the only time I recommend you not to say the right name but, on purpose (you better know the name of the person you like). Always say a similar sounding name but never the right one, but only on the 1st interaction (max 1 more time depending of the situation). This is only for verbal communication, never try to misspelled a name on purpose on a text message! Let me know how it goes…

15 Days Challenge

As we start our universities again or we come back from the summer, we get to meet a loooot of people. I want to challenge you to try my Name Learning Method for the next 2 weeks and write your comments underneath. I can assure you that you will see immediate changes in your relationship with others.

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